Fighting Bullies in Cyberspace

On Wednesday, May 18, Tina Meier came to as part of the CyberSafe Philly program, designed to educate parents on the dangers of cyberbullying and unsupervised internet usage.  

Meier’s story is well-known. Her daughter Megan committed suicide after becoming the victim of a vicious internet attack from her neighbor Lori Drew, Drew’s daughter, and another teen living in the house. The three posed as Josh Evans, a boy on MySpace who Megan begged to be allowed to friend because he was “so hot.”

Meier watched as Megan and Josh developed a friendship based on words. Josh told Megan she was beautiful, that she was a good person, that he liked her. As a girl who had faced bullying and insults in the past, Megan welcomed the positive attention.

On Oct. 15, 2006, shortly before her 14th birthday, Megan received a message from Josh saying that he didn’t want to be her friend anymore, that she was a mean girl. Josh continued sending similar messages into the next day, which were picked up by some other girls as well. When Meier came home from taking her other daughter to the orthodontist, Megan was in tears. She ran up to her room. Meier and her husband were discussing the bullying in the kitchen when she had an awful feeling. She rushed upstairs and found Megan hanging in her closet.

A few weeks later, the Meiers found out that neighbor Lori Drew had been the one to create Josh Evans and inflict all this damage. Drew told the police that she had created the account to find out what Megan was saying about her daughter.

Meier related all this to a small audience in the East Norriton Middle School gymnasium. The majority of her listeners were mothers. One or two were crying quietly. Meier stated that she didn’t want to scare anyone, or cause them to rush home and take all computers and cell phones out of the house, but that “we’re giving them [our children] the world in their hands, and we have to let them know how to use it.”

Meier emphasized the idea of “positive change” (which is highlighted in the mission statement of the Megan Meier Foundation), and how parents can protect their children from cyberbullying and the negative side of technology.

Meier discussed what parents and children can do to limit their exposure to bullying and inappropriate images or actions on the internet. One of the most important things for parents to do is to keep the lines of communication open with children.

Instead of immediately punishing or reprimanding children, it’s better to listen and have an informed discussion on things like sexting, suicide and bullying. Middle school and high school children already know about these issues and it’s imperative for parents to understand that.

According to Meier, parents should also supervise computer usage by keeping computers in an open area. They should know the passwords to all of their children's accounts and friend their children on Facebook to keep an eye on them, without being overbearing.

Children too, can make a difference – by telling teachers or other adults about the bullying they witness in school or online, by comforting and befriending bullying victims and by choosing safe environments.

Meier managed to turn the anger she felt after this unimaginably tragic event into a foundation that helps parents and children better understand how to use the internet. Her talks at schools like East Norriton Middle School highlight the importance of restrictions and communication for both parents and children, and are helping to improve cyberbullying legislation and awareness.