No Kids Allowed? No Fair!

My editor recently emailed me a link about McDain's Restaurant, just outside of Pittsburgh.

If you've missed the controversy, as of this past weekend, McDain's will no longer serve children. I'm not talking cocktails. They won't serve them ANYTHING. Children are not welcome to a family dinner at McDain's, or any other time for that matter.

According to an MSNBC article, owner Mike Vuick doesn't dislike kids, but has defended his recent anti-children policy with a three-fold set of reasons: Parents who “have diminished cooperation,” “an increase in crying babies that cannot be controlled,” as well as kindergarten-aged kids who have “increasingly bad manners.”

My gut shot reaction: Just another snooty place that I won't be spending my hard earned cash at. Boo hoo. I wasn't planning on going to Pittsburgh any time soon anyway, and there are certainly more interesting places to go to eat than this milquetoast-looking establishment.

But wait a minute. What if other restaurants follow suit? And when did children become second-class citizens?

I can think about more appropriate people to ban:

• People who send back their steak three times because it’s undercooked and then complain about it being burned.
• Sloppy drunks.
• Folks who order an expensive meal, and then don’t tip.
• Silverware thieves.
• People who chew with their mouths open.

To folks out there that think the position that McDain's is taking is appropriate, consider this three-fold response:

1. In terms of infants, I fully realize that sitting next to someone else’s crying baby is not appealing. But that’s what babies do, and parents, particularly of crying infants, do not have an ample amount of time to cook. After a weeks’ worth of Grape Nuts, hot dogs and peanut butter sandwiches (because that’s all you have time to prepare before the baby needs another feeding… ) you get to craving prime rib!

Many parents figure, if I hold the baby, I can have my steak and eat it too. At a table. With a real tablecloth and a bottle of wine. They’ve got the whole fantasy played out in their head. And they need this meal, for sanity’s sake – they are literally one more PB&J from a straitjacket and one gas bubble can ruin that for them.

2. If a child is only allowed in restaurants that have a children’s menu (which too many times contains unhealthy, fried, processed food), how will a child ever learn proper adult restaurant etiquette, let alone recognize quality food?

Kids need exposure to real places to learn real skills. Yes, learning at your kitchen table is an excellent first step, but student nurses have to do clinicals for practice before becoming a full-fledged nurse. People of most professions go through rigorous training and then an internship before they become proficient in their area of expertise. Kids need a place to practice social skills and manners. Chuck E. Cheese and is not sufficient. If you have any doubts, I invite you to visit your local school cafeteria.

3. I see parents struggling with their children’s behavior in many places other than restaurants: shopping malls, grocery stores, doctors’ offices and at the library just to name a few. I’ve been fortunate enough to encounter strangers that have gently reprimanded my children. ("Don’t you treat your parent that way!") This usually sends a very repentant child clinging to Mom or Dad’s leg, while the parent mouths “Thank you.”  I’ve always appreciated the shock value, the expression on my kids’ faces when they’ve had a non-related adult intercede on my behalf. It’s validating. Kids no longer think that my rules are simply my rules. They’re society’s rules. 

“It takes a village to raise a child" is an old African proverb. 

We need to stick together. As community, we need to support each other, which includes parents and children who sometimes need a helping hand, or a quiet word. What will this world come to, if becoming exclusionary toward people going through difficult periods becomes the norm? 

The answer? Another old proverb: “You reap what you sow.”