Scenes from a Romney White House

The Diplomat from China was waved through the back entrance to the White House, just like a hundred times before.

Since President Romney took office things have been great for the Chinese. The invasion of Taiwan took place and the country was securely absorbed with the mainland. Over 250,000 Taiwanese died fighting the invasion, but the island is slated to become a resort for the new Mainland’s middle class.

As was pre-arranged with the White House, only some shrieking media stories and a stern statement from the Romney administration was about the depth of American resistance.

Today’s visit from the Chinese diplomat was to tell President Romney that he was needed to help the Chinese diffuse the sympathetic rioting in Tibet.  The United States will allow the Chinese government to extradite the Dalai Lama on charges that he is inciting the Tibetan riots. The Dalai Lama spoke up after receiving a humanitarian award in front of the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. He was still in the city. The Chinese are insisting that U.S. marshals pick up the outspoken leader immediately.

Inside the Oval Office, President Romney offered soft drinks to The Diplomat as they sat down.

The Diplomat spoke, “Mr. President, we understand that you are reticent to release the Dalai Lama to us.  But as we have spoken before, you are in no position to argue with us here.  All of that massive fortune you have in our country will become part of the Chinese Government if you continue to resist our diplomatic efforts.”

The President has heard this speech a number of times before, but was finally willing to put it on the line. “No, you cannot have him.  This man has committed no crime.  He is enjoying our protections of the First Amendment when he speaks.”

“But he has committed a crime against the Chinese people and needs to be brought to justice.”

“We will use our military to help you put down the resistance in Tibet, but you cannot have the Dalai Lama.”

“A kind offer Mr. President, but no.  This is symbolic as much as anything else.  We intend to crush the TIbetian people’s spirit by trial in China.”

“Then we will use our military to stand up to you.”

“With what monies?  You collect no taxes and you are so far in debt to us that we do not need to worry about you raising an army.”

“I will go to the American People and rally them against this.”

“Mr. President, you may do that, but we already have a number of people who will set into a motion of your impeachment process.  We will release witness statements outlining your business dealings in our country as being a violation of laws in your country.  It does not matter if you actually performed the bribes or not, we do not care.  If you think that we care about your copyright laws or intellectual property rights, what makes you think that we would not drag your name through the mud on the charges in front of your own people?”

The diplomat relaxed on the sofa, “Really, you were compromised before even one vote was cast for you.  We have tapes of you that make the 47% tape look like elementary school.  We will take you instead of the Dalai Lama.  And we will get him at the end of the day anyway.  Vice President Ryan has already made that deal for us.”

“So give us the Dalai Lama and you and your family can enjoy the wealth and sunlight of living in The White House. Your wife so enjoyed plowing over the garden the Obama Family planted.  I think she likes it here.”

President Romney sat back thinking that Ann told him not to go to work today.

The Dalai Lama arrived in China the next morning.

(Note: So no one gets in trouble, this is an opinionated fictional work based on the writer’s vision of what a Romney White House would look like.)