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The NRA Call

The NRA urgently wanted me to hear what Wayne LaPierre had to say. Whoop-de-doo!!!

Friday night had a date with the wife. The roads were clogged going downtown Philly. As we sat in traffic my cell phone started singing. 

It was the NRA! Upbeat Lori had broken through the defense of my number being on the Do Not Call list with an urgent message from Wayne LaPierre! Would I listen? 

My wife gave me the Hang-up-you-idiot look. I mouthed, "We're stuck in traffic." and said, "OK Lori".  

"Great", Perky Lori responded, "and we'll have a few questions for you after President LaPierre's message."

"OK - Great", channeling my inner Tom Hanks. Little did Lori know she called the wrong guy...

LaPierre's message was the same old they-are-coming-for-all-our-guns speech that Wayne has perfected over the last few months via repeated TV cameos. It was a little more over-the-top, probably tailored for the captive audience crowd.  

Perky Lori got back on the phone, "Thanks for listening. You agree with Wayne LaPierre's message?"

"Actually Lori, I am a little worried about Mr LaPierre's message. He seems to be marginalizing the NRA." 

"We have 4 million members."

"But, that means the other 306 million Americans are starting to look at the NRA as a bunch of paranoid loons with guns. Frankly, you are scaring the rest us. " 

"Just look at the Op-Ed piece Mr. LaPierre wrote this week. It seemed like we were living in an evil and fearful place." 

"Wayne LaPierre and the NRA may be doing more damage to the 2nd Amendment than all of your perceived enemies." 

"The NRA, by isolating itself, is giving the rest of us reason to pause and think you guys are paranoid people with guns. My neighbors have guns. I trust them as responsible gun owners. I have a firing range down the street from me where they are also great neighbors. But the NRA is making them look bad." 

Curious Lori then said, "You know, I didn't hear Wayne LaPierre's message. Hang on a minute." 

My wife starts laughing.  

When Firm Lori returned the tack had changed. She started talking about how evil Obama and the Democrats were overstepping the boundaries with the State of the Union speech and other legislation like background checks and clip sizes. 

"Lori, we are driving right now, you would not want blind people driving, right? All our bodies deteriorate over time, so should there be the some physical restrictions on guns? If you cannot see - you cannot be licensed to drive. What good is a gun in the hands of a blind person? " 

"And what about someone with Parkinsons, if someone cannot hold a pencil steady -do we want them with a gun in their hands?" 

"With respect to magazine sizes - to protect yourself in your house from an intruder with more than 8 rounds means you weren't properly trained to have a gun in the first place. 

"Plus, if you are responsible gun owner - you would have them in a gun-safe. Do you think your friendly neighborhood intruder is going to wait for you to unlock the safe so you can blow him away?" 

Flustered Lori spoke, "Someone else needs to hear this. Can I put you on hold for a supervisor?" 

"Sure". At this point my wife is wondering what is going to happen next. She is impressed that no one is screaming or hanging up. Traffic really isn't moving - so it is at least entertaining. 

About 2 minutes later Determined Lori returns to the phone. "You can go check out our web site at www.nra.org." 

"Lori, I already have. I saw the one page where the NRA created an enemies list of the NRA. Right at the top of the list was the AARP. Seriously, the AARP! You guys don't like old people? " 

"Then I looked further down the list and saw all sorts of clerics, from Catholics to Protestants to Jewish to I think I saw some Muslim groups on there too. So the NRA doesn't like people associated with God?"

"More groups like police groups and even other Gun Advocacy groups are on there." 

"If you hate everyone, and are suspicious of everyone, isn't that paranoia?"

"If we are going to look at Mental Health as criteria for gun ownership, the NRA is making the case that we have to remove the NRA's weapons first."  

Frazzled Lori came back with, "My supervisor says I have spent too much time with you on the phone." 

"But you called me."  

"Can I offer you a subscription to... ", she starts naming a bunch of things to send. 

"Are they free?"  

"Yes, can I have your email?" 

"Sure." I proceeded to tell her my email which she could not figure out how to enter into the system.  

"Do you want to Join the NRA?" 

"I have been telling you for this entire call they are lunatics. You asked me to listen to Wayne LaPierre. Out of politeness I did. He did nothing but reinforce his crafted image of being crazy. Tell me why I would want to join you?" 

We parted ways after about 17 minutes of air time. 

I gotta check my Do Not Call List Status. 

The wife and I had great fodder for dinner conversation.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 21, 2013 at 02:54 PM
Blind people can get black belts in martial arts. It is silly for them to handle a gun. I am making the point that the 2nd Amendment is functionally a privilege. Anytime you have the government doing a background check for mental stability, it ceases to be a right. A crazy person without a gun going into a church to exercise his first amendment creates an awkward moment. Put a gun in their hands and you get a Sikh Temple massacre when exercising their second amendment. if the condition of a person is a blocker for a gun, then it is not a jump to also ask that a person be able to physically handle a weapon. Do you seriously want someone who cannot see acquiring targets via echo location? Do you seriously want someone who cannot hold still acquiring targets?
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 22, 2013 at 01:21 PM
thanks Ura, I appreciate it!!! i post of Huffington Post - they release what they like. i also post on Facebook, Twitter and TheWashingtonFancy.com. may I suggest not to define yourself in terms of someone else, because then you have no definition after you defeat them. And Minster seems to be all sound and fury.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 22, 2013 at 01:22 PM
if you are in a well-regulated militia, would you feel really confident with a blind guy having your back?
Oh My February 23, 2013 at 11:54 AM
Joe with your logic is freedom of the press also a privilege. When did the Constitution and the Bill of Rights become privilege? I thought they were unalienable RIGHTS, or are we watering down our great nation to privilege, which can be taken away at someone else’s discretion. Weather you or I like it it’s a right and it shall not be infringed
Bill February 23, 2013 at 07:46 PM
Ex-Secret Service Agent Suddenly Going Viral? A modern day Patrick Henry? As American's you need to watch this off the cuff speech regarding America. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=R8WLXhahw_A
Tom Bartman February 23, 2013 at 07:57 PM
Why don't you just come out and say it. Admit you are against the second Amendment, blah blah, progressives, blah blah. What is your take on this? http://www.khou.com/news/local/21-year-old-protects-family-kills-suspect-during-home-invasion-in-NW-Harris-County-192475271.html
Bill February 23, 2013 at 08:44 PM
Veterans Receive Letters From VA Prohibiting Ownership or Purchase of Firearms “A determination of incompetency will prohibit you from purchasing, possessing, receiving, or transporting a firearm or ammunition. If you knowingly violate any of these prohibitions, you may be fined, imprisoned, or both pursuant to the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act, Pub.L.No. 103-159, as implemented at 18, United States Code 924(a)(2).”? http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2013/02/shock-report-veterans-receive-letters-from-va-prohibiting-ownership-or-purchase-of-firearms/?ModPagespeed=noscript
Bill February 23, 2013 at 08:52 PM
Full VA article is on this site. http://redflagnews.com/headlines/disarming-americas-heros-veterans-receiving-official-letters-prohibiting-them-from-purchasing-possessing-receiving-or-transporting-a-firearm-or-ammunition You might want to check the links to the left regarding Benghazi, Fast n Furious, and others. They did a nice job of cataloging events through news clips and articles.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 24, 2013 at 03:17 PM
it is actually already infringed when you take guns out of the hands of crazy people. or do you think crazy people should have guns?
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 24, 2013 at 03:18 PM
as it stands now the 2nd Amendment is dangerous to society. i got no beef with the person in the story defending their home. that is a legit use of a weapon.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 24, 2013 at 03:20 PM
so you are ok with incompetent people having guns. you think that makes us a better society? you do realize the rest of us are looking at you as completely unhinged if you want nut-jobs with unfettered access to weapons.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 24, 2013 at 03:21 PM
nah - i'll pass - more Right Wing deflection.
Bill February 24, 2013 at 05:32 PM
Vets have died and have been wounded mentally and physically to give you the right to speak and or to pass. If vets were generically put on a DHS terrorist watch list, then they would also be generically classified with PTSD, and all vets would not be allowed to own a gun.
Bill February 24, 2013 at 05:38 PM
Vets can carry a weapon to protect you and your freedoms, but can't carry a weapon to protect themselves. Makes me sick.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 24, 2013 at 09:05 PM
Wait a minute. If a Vet is too ill to be carrying - then it makes to sense to allow them to carry? You are creating a different form of randomized terror.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 24, 2013 at 09:07 PM
you are creating a new form of terror when you advocate people who are not fit to be carrying - vet or not - to be allowed to roam the streets with weapons. This is the NRA trap you are falling into. If everyone has guns - including the ill - we make everyone paranoid. Is THAT freedom?
Bill February 24, 2013 at 09:17 PM
"My wife gave me the Hang-up-you-idiot look", reads the article Hum, Well said dear. She obviously knows something that the rest of us are finding out.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 24, 2013 at 10:17 PM
wow Bill - you are soooo funny.
Tom Bartman February 25, 2013 at 02:56 AM
Stop arguing with this guy. Progressives think somehow, more regulation will keep guns out of the hands of crazies. I got Joe to admit: "2nd Amendment is dangerous to society." There you have it -- the Bill of Rights second amendment is dangerous to you and me because Joe says so. That's all you need to hear to move on. Arguing with a progressive is useless. Don't waste your time.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 25, 2013 at 03:16 AM
Tom - I got as many NRA people to admit that it is OK for lunatics to run around with guns. The Constitution can be changed. Remember the Original Constitution did not have a freedom to bear arms. It had to be amended to get it. We can amend the Constitution. If we have to get guns out of the hands of lunatics. I am ready to do it lawfully. Can you follow the law if I succeed?
Bill February 27, 2013 at 05:39 PM
Vietnam Vet Barred From Owning a Gun Because of a Teenage Misdemeanor 45 Years Ago But here’s the weird thing: Schrader has been selling and trading guns for a long time. And although Schrader — a certified expert with a handgun — served in Vietnam from Jan. 1, 1968, until being honorably discharged in September 1970, the U.S. government believes he is unfit to own a gun because of his teenage misdemeanor. “Due to a conviction some forty years ago for common-law misdemeanor assault and battery for which he served no jail time, plaintiff Jefferson Wayne Schrader, now a sixty-four-year-old veteran, is, by virtue of 18 U.S.C. § 922(g)(1), barred for life from ever possessing a firearm,” U.S. Circuit Judge David Tatel wrote in the court’s January opinion. Out of Control your suggestions will lead...tyrannical power it will bring. http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/02/26/u-s-gun-laws-retroactively-barred-this-vietnam-vet-from-owning-a-firearm-because-of-a-teenage-misdemeanor-45-years-ago/
Stephen Eickhoff February 27, 2013 at 06:17 PM
Based on... ?
Stephen Eickhoff February 27, 2013 at 06:20 PM
Joe, you are never at liberty to violate others' rights when exercising yours. Your sequestration of the right to bear arms based on an ILLEGAL action of committing murder is a straw man argument. I can also slander or libel others; that doesn't mean that the first amendment needs to be abolished.
Stephen Eickhoff February 27, 2013 at 06:24 PM
Your walk down this fallacious argument needs to come to an end. We DO already infringe on other rights of the diagnosed mentally ill. Their rights to move about freely and be secure in their persons are, de facto, limited.
Stephen Eickhoff February 27, 2013 at 06:25 PM
Says who? I guess the Democratic party, right? Just like they get to decide what percentage of a wealthy person's income is their "fair share". Then, maybe in a few years, the Republicans get to decide.
Stephen Eickhoff February 27, 2013 at 06:27 PM
Remember that the government didn't have any right to seize guns in the unamended Constitution because SUCH RIGHT WASN'T LISTED.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 27, 2013 at 11:13 PM
get a judge with some common sense and that goes away.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 27, 2013 at 11:14 PM
Stephen - you are now arguing that the 2nd Amendment was there before there was a 2ns Amendment. - THAT is pretty wild.
Joe The Nerd Ferraro February 27, 2013 at 11:15 PM
maybe they do - but the way the GOP is going - i doubt if there will be much left except the fringe.
Bill February 28, 2013 at 07:03 AM
Survivors of Rape Speak Out Against Gun Control: "I Was Denied the One Equalizing Factor That I Had" Many of the attacks occurred in gun-free zones, underscoring the reality that people of goodwill were left defenseless, while those with an intent to do harm still found a way to wreak their havoc. Included on the panel was Amanda Collins, who was raped at gunpoint in a garage situated on her college campus. Her attacker, James Biela, had already raped two other women and murdered a third. He is now serving his sentence on Death Row. http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/02/26/survivors-of-rape-speak-out-against-gun-control-i-was-denied-the-one-equalizing-factor-that-i-had/

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